Sunday, August 12, 2007

Degree of Attractiveness

The other day I also had some other discussions with my close friends and again I'd LOVE to know what you think.

1. If someone "ordinary" stays close to someone "popular" (either at work or at school or in a community), do you think the "ordinary" person's degree of attractiveness rises up a notch or two just because of that reason? Have you ever been in a situation where you feel that you're more "attractive" simply 'coz you're close to someone "popular"?

My opinion: I don't think so, since I think that "ordinary" person only receives some incentives by being with the "popular" person. I've never been close to any "popular" people, so I can't say anything about it, but I think that everybody has his/her own degree of attractiveness and that's what they should believe in and work on.

2. Is it really true that "beautiful/handsome" people get by more easily in life (two friends of mine said yes)? Do they get more help from people even before they ask? And if they make mistakes, is it true that they won't be scolded too harshly? Is the world THAT fickle?

Is it also true that a male boss will usually be slightly more lenient to the mistakes made by a female employee rather than a male employee?

I have to tell you some bits about myself here. I've never actually worked in an office before. I tried it once but it only lasted for seven weeks, then I sent my letter of resignation. It felt hellish to work in that office. I tried working in a garment factory as a marketing assistant, but that job made me unable to sleep well at night and whenever I woke up in the morning, I didn't feel like going to work at all. I also had anger issues back then (read: I didn't know how to express my anger in a healthy way to some people at work since I was still a new employee and I didn't want to anger anybody, so I bottled it all inside me and it became poisonous to me - I cried quite a lot back then). I don't know if this was due to the fact that I didn't try hard enough to enjoy the work or not, but I quitted that job since I had another job option which had proven FAR better for my well-being.

So I chose translating books from home. I had a boss, but he lived in Jakarta (the central office was located in Jakarta), so we only contacted each other via emails and phone calls. In all fairness, I have to admit that I don't know how it's like to work from Monday to Friday in offices and having lots of colleagues. Before translating, I was a private English tutor, so no colleagues again. Added to that was the fact that I have always been a bit of a loner, so I haven't joined any organization. Thus less and less friction with other humans and less and less chance to see how the "real world" operates.

OK, I guess I've explained enough. I myself would like to believe that the world is NOT that fickle. I believe and I know that some people have a certain flair that makes them likeable. I know that charming people (they don't have to have the world's standard of "beauty or attractiveness") who have that power of persuasion might get by more easily in life. I also know that smooth-operators may also get by more easily in life, but I still refuse to believe that "beautiful girls or handsome guys" get by more easily in life simply because of their physical appearance.



  1. 1 - nope.
    I was (a few times) asked to join the most popular girl in class for lunch. I usually "hung out" with the weird kids, but for some reason this girl always wanted to be my friend.

    It did make some of her friends stare at her as if she was crazy, but it never changed my status in any way. I was always the slightly weird kid. I actually prefered that. I was the one who wasn't interested in being popular so maybe that made a difference?

    2 - nope. I knew two girls who were incredibly popular with guys, teachers etc. Neither was really pretty, but both thought they were wonderful and pretty and their self-confidence made them shine. I also knew a very pretty girl who was shy and "mousy". No-one ever notied her because she believed she wasn't worth being seen.. and it made her invisible!

    Your body language, how you project yourself, can be way stronger than physical "good looks".

  2. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU, M!!!! FINALLY someone wrote something about this topic. LOL!!!

    THANKS for sharing your experiences. I myself had a "geeky" group since Junior High School and I've LOVED that group till now (we still keep in touch). However, I think we've grown from the "geeky" status to blossoming women HE HE HE HE...

    And yeah, I was also never interested in being popular myself. ;-)))) I LOVE being behind the scene, not in the spotlight. ;-D

    As to your second answer, I can't say much as I've never experienced much, but I'm GLAD it's that way as it confirmed what I believed in hi hi hi hi...LOL!!!