Last night I remembered something a friend and I did when we were about 15 years old. Back then I had 4 close friends. Each of us had different personalities and looks. I don't know how I started the conversation, but I knew I was the one starting it. I asked one of them about the other three (without their presence). I wanted to know what she thought about our looks, so I asked her to rate us all and I'd then tell her what I thought about each of us.
So we started rating the looks (which ones of us were more attractive and which ones were less attractive). Then we started talking about each girl's possibility of finding a boyfriend based on our looks and personality (which ones of us would most likely find a boyfriend faster and which ones of us would most likely find a boyfriend slower).
I know it's SILLY, but back then it seemed to be a FUN thing to do. Besides, we weren't THAT serious, even though now looking back at the moment, it's actually kinda dangerous to do such a thing. It doesn't do anyone any good.
Anyway, based on looks and personality (mostly whether the girl's outgoing or not), we rated ourselves as the bottom two in finding boyfriends. Funny thing is how life showed us how WRONG it was. She was actually the first one who got a boyfriend and I was the second. We didn't factor in the possibility that even though the other girls might have more "guy fans", they might not want to have anything to do with any one of those guys. Just because you're surrounded by guys doesn't mean that one of them "clicks" with you and doesn't mean that you're willing to take a chance with one of them.
Fast forward to the present: Both she and I didn't end up marrying our first boyfriends, but still it was ironic that our own "silly ratings" were SO wrong. Now all of us have gotten married and two of us have gotten a kid already.
I guess it boiled down to the fact that back then, I was wondering about my own beauty. I knew back then that in the eyes of the guys in Indo, I wasn't particularly beautiful. They liked girls with bigger eyes. However, in life I've found out that NOT everybody approaches you simply because of your own looks. Maybe for teenagers, that might seem to be the case. But as you get older, you learn that there's MUCH MORE about a person than just their looks.
Over the years I've learnt to appreciate my own beauty, ZITS AND ALL!!! First I learnt to appreciate my own beauty through other people's eyes, but then I switched to learning how to appreciate my own beauty through my OWN eyes. I've learnt to accept myself no matter what. I've learnt to feel beautiful even though I'm not perfect. There are good days and bad days, but I think what's more important is that now I know my own worth better than before: that God created me as a special person and that nobody's better or worse than me. It's about me and God. It's about God's view of me. It's about knowing that I'm loved no matter what. It's about knowing that God cares THAT much about me. It's about embracing myself fully when I'm bleeding inside and feeling "ugly" and being able to say, "I love you. God loves you. So rest if we must, but let's get up again and move on and let's remember this lesson."