Thursday, November 01, 2007

My Birth Month

This is going to be another rambling post as I'm not super inspired right now, but there've been some things on my mind that I'd love to write, as well he he he...

1. When I woke up this morning, it was half white again. It's been snowing on and off since this morning. When the larger snowflakes fall down in rapid succession, it makes me feel as though the sky has shed some dandruff hi hi hi hi...Yeah, I know it's a yucky analogy, but it DOES make me feel that way ha ha ha...I think snow is MARVELLOUS!!!! Though my Brit friend said that maybe after I had lived here for a while, I'd get sick and tired of snow HE HE HE HE...God, PLEASE let me keep this enthusiasm all my life, I'm BEGGING YOU!!! ^__________________^

2. Frasypoo's story entitled "
Teenage Angst" took me back in time. Ever since I started going to school, everybody kept on giving me this "clever girl" title. My neighbours, my schoolmates' parents, my relatives. I don't know what it is about me that gives off that kind of aura. For me, personally, it's a burden. Especially when one or two teachers decided to focus on me for some reason. They expected MORE from me. I always felt bad whenever they had that kind of expectation from me, especially if other students realized the teacher's attention. NOOOOOOOOO!!! I HATE being in the spotlight!!! I always wanna get rid of all those bright lights away from me...awaaayyyyy he he he...

However, I don't mind at all being considered a "bookworm" (most of my life it's been one of my nicknames). I love misleading people (well, not on purpose, 'coz basically they misled themselves by judging a book from its cover he he he he...).

In Junior High School, that particular school had one special system for us. There were about 6 classes per grade (so there'd be for example classes 1A, 1B, 1C, 1D, 1E, 1F) and there would be around 40 kids per classroom. Yeah, lots of students indeed!!! That particular school ranked the kids from one to 240 and grouped them according to their ranks on the last semester of each grade. So, if your rank is 30 at the end of the second semester of the first grade, then you'll probably be grouped in the first classroom, along with the other "clever" kids. If your rank is 230, then you'll probably be grouped in the last classroom. Everybody knew this at that school. The first grade I belonged to the second classroom, whereas on the second and third grade, I belonged to the first classroom. So what? Just because I got good grades doesn't mean that I know EVERYTHING about ANYTHING, right?

Good thing about this kind of grouping is that everybody in my classroom was considered "bookworms" by other students in other classrooms, so we were fine being "bookworms". That helped us a lot when we went to High School and university. My closest friends and I didn't mind being an "unpopular" group. Mind you that in our schools back then there weren't really a distinct separation, though. So don't imagine a scene from any Hollywood teenage movies he he he...Since we had to wear uniforms, so there was no fashion competition nor competition about "who's got laid already?". Teenage pregnancy was and still is a taboo in my country. So we're "safe" at least in those departments, though my friend says that there are more free sex happening in High Schools in Indonesia these days then back in our days.

Anyway, I just wanna say that I don't mind being considered a bookworm. One funny incident happened in university and I would NEVER forget that. My campus friends and I decided to flunk out of skip out a certain class back then and one girl who belonged to the same class as we were, upon seeing us leave the building towards the parking lot, screamed, "What? You're not going to come to class, Amel? Hey, people, Amel is flunking out of skipping out the class!" She made it into such a big deal that I couldn't help laughing he he he he... (side note: LS has just made me realize that I'd mixed up the skipping out with flunking out. THANKS A LOT, LS, for the correction!!!)

Well, I did flunk skip out a few classes with my campus friends 'coz the classes weren't that important, but we never did it too often 'coz after all, we couldn't be absent for more than 25% of the whole semester. Otherwise they wouldn't let us have the exams he he he...

I guess for me, I prefer being underestimated to being overestimated. I just don't like the feeling of being crushed by someone's expectation of me. I do like getting confirmations that I've been doing something right or well, but I've experienced some teachers or lecturers focusing too much on me that it made me feel totally uncomfortable. It stifled me!!! Let me be free from that burden, please he he he he he...Gladly now I'm done with my studies. ;-D

How about you? What do you feel or react when you're underestimated or when you're being overestimated? Any specific experiences?

3. Here are two prewedding pics that my brother sent me the other day he he he...He's got a new haircut and his girlfriend's also dyed her hair he he he...The pics are small 'coz he resized them. He's still using a modem so if he sends too many BIG pics, it's gonna cost a lot for him (esp. the phone bill!!!).

I can't wait for next March when my friend comes back home to Indonesia. I've asked my brother to burn his prewedding and wedding CD/video for me and then give them to my friend so that she can send them to me from Germany HE HE HE HE HE...It's cheaper and safer that way! ;-D YIIIIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAA!!!!





24 comments:

  1. I love those pictures!
    Like you, I don't like ever being in the spotlight, and I didn't have to worry much about that growing up because I was always just in the average group. I got a lot smarter in high school and college, but never at the very top of the class. Because I'm quiet, I think I am sometimes "underestimated" and sometimes I like that because I'll have knowledge that people don't know I have. Just knowing things sometimes makes me feel good even if I don't feel the need to let everyone know what I know.

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  2. Ah!A wonderful month.My best wishes.
    I don't think we have to react to people's estimate about us.We are what we are..so stay put..
    Thanks for sharing stunning pictures.
    God bless.

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  3. Kathy: Glad you loved the pics! ;-D I can't wait to see more pics of them 'coz I bet there are hundreds he he he he...

    Yeah, that's right. Knowing things sometimes makes me feel good though even if we don't have to let everybody know about that he he...

    Surjit: THANK YOU for your best wishes. You're right, though. We should be unaffected by other people's estimation...but during teenage years, it's not that easy to do he he he...but I'm learning, I'm learning. ;-D

    Glad you enjoyed the pics! ;-D God bless you too!

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  4. Hey Amel, go find out Nablopomo, it's fun! may be you will get inspiration to blog everyday in this month

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  5. Trinity: Hey, THANKS for telling me. Let's see about that he he he he...

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  6. Wow, nice wedding photos!

    In the first few years of my school life, I used to be amongst the top 3 in class but slowly I dropped further down the rank as I grew older. Oh well.... studying wasn't my top loves!

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  7. November Snow Lady.. this is Lady Valentine speaking, she never sees any snow and just sitting here feeling so envious to you!

    Amel which high school did you enter? I can imagine all things you wrote about university and school stories! hahaha..

    Oh about overestimate and underestimate, I think I don't like being underestimate.. anyway I don't like people judging me.. but, if I think I am overestimated, I do some introspection, may be there is something good I haven't develop that they think I will be good at. Because, you know, I feel I sometimes underestimate myself too much!

    Aaarrgh what a long estimation comment I write for you!

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  8. Blur Ting: Those are the prewedding pics. The wedding pics will come later on. I think in Singapore prewedding pics are also a trend these days, right? ;-D

    Well, I didn't always come up on top of my class, but for some reason people always think that way. I did excel at the uni, though.

    Trinity: So you're Lady Valentine, eh? Well, I'm keeping my fingers crossed so that you WILL experience snow someday with your family. ;-D

    I entered SMPK 5 BPK, class '90 then SMAK 1 BPK, class '93, then Maranatha Christian University (English lit. major), class '96. How about you? ;-D

    Ahhhh...you feel that sometimes you underestimate yourself too much? That's not good indeed. ;-D

    Hey, I LOVE long comments, so don't worry. You can ramble anytime you want here he he he he...

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  9. Your sister in law is very pretty. Nice pictures.

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  10. Hi, Mother Hen!

    Yes, she is, but most of all, she has a VERY good heart. She cares SO MUCH about my parents, too, not just my brother...so I'm relieved that she can sort of "take my place" as they're gonna live with my parents after they get married. They'll have their own privacy 'coz they're gonna have the side of the house just for them (a small living room and a bedroom upstairs), but they'll have to share the kitchen and bathroom he he he...

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  11. Ahhh Amel,

    You are so darling! What a gorgeous couple you make!

    Thanks for sharing these darling pictures with us!

    Lots of love,

    jen

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  12. Ohhh... and,

    HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

    :-)

    Jen

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  13. In school I always hung out with the average kids, Not popular but not unpopular either.
    I do tend to underestimate myself alot always have, but I believe some peers and others underestimated me too.
    My senior year in high school I decided to go out with a bang. I sang in choir, did a musical, volunteered for several clubs, I even started one of my own.

    I love the pics they are absolutly gorgeous

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  14. Eh when exactly is your birthday?

    The pictures are beautiful! How about showing us yours?

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  15. Jennifer: Those are my brother's pic with his future wife he he he he...

    THANKS for your birthday wish!!! It's actually later on the 29th he he he he...

    Kasper: Hi, Dawn! WOW!!! I SALUTE you for turning everything around in your senior year in High School. I think it wasn't easy to do that, but you did GREAT!!! *bowing*

    Glad you enjoyed the pics!!!

    WaterLearner: HI HI HI...It's actually much later, Karen...on the 29th ha ha ha ha...

    I've put a link to my pics once, but I guess you didn't know me then, so I'll do it in my next post, OK? ;-D

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  16. Hahaha, wonderful to see you're doing so great!

    1) Snow, the last time I saw snow was in 2001, long time ago but I agree, it's a marvelous thing :D

    2) mmm, you know, I kind of got the exactly same thing in high school. I used to be judged as smart and I was voted to be "Most Likely to be Prime Minister" haha! But I guess I liked limelight, maybe it is because of my own insecurity but I always loved limelight... lol... So I never kind of felt weird or anything, always enjoyed it and perhaps always will... only time will tell..

    3) Your brother's wife is a very pretty girl. Personally, I think he could have wore an even more stylish suit but they look wonderful!

    Good to see you again Amel!

    Shan

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  17. Hi, Shan!

    Yep, I've been doing SUPER, thanks! ;-D

    Ahhh...so you always like the limelight, eh? COOL!!! It's good that you never felt weird or anything, though. ;-D

    HA HA HA HA...Well, personally I think my brother looks good in that informal attire...'coz otherwise the pics'll look too formal. ;-D

    Good to see you again, too, Shan! ;-D

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  18. The pictures are wonderful! What a beautiful couple!

    Snow already? I'm cold just thinking about it.

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  19. Hi, Lori!

    Glad you enjoyed the pics. Yup, it's snowed already a few times last month as well, but the snow doesn't last yet he he he he...

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  20. Hi Amel;

    Very interesting learning these kinds of things about you…I love reading your terminology it is quite fascinating. When we in BC say “flunk out” it actually means failing the class, not passing in the end, we call what you did “skipping out”.

    When I was a kid I was actually quite shy till grade 9 then I took drama and it unleashed the extrovert that I am, now I feel very comfortable in the “spotlight” but I also enjoy watching others in those situations or even prompting them to get into those situations!

    “How about you? What do you feel or react when you're underestimated or when you're being overestimated? Any specific experiences?”

    …perhaps a question better answered by my wife…I am very aware of my strengths and limitations so others expectations don’t play much on me, I also have a good understand of reality so others expectations are not very weighty in that way either… with the exception of my wife…I guess I would be best described as a person that is very comfortable “within their skin”.

    By the way I enjoy the way you express yourself thru your written “giggles”.

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  21. Amel,
    I just adored the picture. Your Brother is very handsomeand his bride to be is lovely.

    Don't worry about being a book worm, I was one before I had left school. I get told now by everyone that I show off my smarts too much, but my friends like to call me for answers to questions and I help their children with homework.

    I hope you have a Happy Birthday just like I did:) HE HE HE HE

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  22. Livingsword: Oops!!! I just checked and actually I couldn't find flunking out = skipping out. I guess my mind sort of mixed them up. THX for telling me he he he...now I've gotta correct my post, ;-D

    Well, most of the times when I felt overestimated, I just felt burdened 'coz I was afraid of disappointing those people who had such high faith in me.

    How do I feel when I'm underestimated? Hmmm...right now I can't remember any specific incident, but basically I THINK I can handle this better than being overestimated he he he...

    It's GOOD for you to have a balance life like that...being very comfy with your own skin. One funny thing was that over the years different personality tests kept on telling me that I wanted much of other people's approval or that I wanted to be liked by others...I NEVER felt too much of that (except perhaps getting approval from my loved ones)...but maybe it's one reason why I dislike being overestimated. I don't like disappointing people, but I'm only human, so I KNOW I'm bound to disappoint somebody somehow someway he he he...

    Glad you enjoyed my giggles. Yeah, I tend to do that a lot when I write something he he he he...Can't help it! ;-D

    Sindi: GLAD you enjoyed the pics. ;-D

    Hey, it's GOOD that your friends have YOU to count on when they have questions to answer and you get to help their kids with homework! ;-D

    My birthday's still in a few weeks', but I've already got A LOVELY present: the intensive Finnish course he he he...

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  23. He he he...Yeah, I hope you won't lose your enthusiasm about SNOW, Amel!! :D

    I guess we have the same division system for classes except that sometimes, they would use other terms to categorize the level of classes, for example, 1S (Super), 1M (Medium) and 1A (Average).

    Nice pre-wedding pics of your bro and sis-in-law. Congrats to both of them!! :)

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  24. Choc Mint Girl: THANKS for your encouragement, Crystal! ;-D

    Ahhhh...so you have the same division system for classes, eh? Interesting!!!

    Glad you enjoyed the pics. ;-D

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