Friday, December 21, 2007

I'm Glad

There's one thing I'd love to share with you all. Even though I was a bit sad that I couldn't be there for my brother's wedding, in a way I'm also glad that I wasn't there. Why? Because it was a wedding party and I knew already what would happen if I could be there alone.

First of all, many people would ask, "How's life in Finland? Are you pregnant already?"

Second of all, they'll continue by asking, "Where's your husband? Why isn't he here?"

Yada yada yada yada...and I'd feel sick and tired trying to explain everything over and over again. For some reason, I think most people think that marrying a foreigner means that I'll be very secured financially.

Just the other day when I was talking to one of my best friends online (the one that didn't have internet connection at home, so she had to go back to her previous house to use her brother's computer), she asked when I was planning on having a kid. And thus we talked about money. I told her that I wanted to have some savings before I had a kid. After all, even though I'll get some benefit when I'm pregnant and after I give birth, I don't know how much it'd really cost to have a baby here. I don't know how much it costs to buy all those necessary baby stuff (though I'll try to find used clothing, as well).

Plus I told her that since we had loaned some money from the bank to buy a new used car, then we couldn't really save. At first she probably thought that my hubby's income was SO huge. Of course my hubby's income is huge if it's converted to rupiah, but then again the taxes here are huge, as well. The only difference is that the taxes you pay to the government here won't be corrupted and you can live decently when you're retired without having to worry about money. But still living on one income in Finland doesn't mean that we can have a vacation abroad every summer. In fact, we have to be really careful with our expenses. That's why I'm SO happy that I can start making money online.

The problem is if even my best friend had that kind of thought, what about everybody else in Indonesia? How can I explain this to everybody back in Indo who probably thinks that we can afford anything?

One thing I dread of when coming back home is the questions I wrote above. I know I don't have to explain anything to them, but it's just bothering me to know that they have all those questions. Maybe when I come back to Indo one day (without a child and without my hubby), I should print out two different explanations on leaflets and then if someone asks something, I'll simply take one and give it to them HA HA HA HA HA HA...Wouldn't it be grand? Yes, I might just try this if I need to HUE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE...;-D

I don't know why the pregnancy question bothers me A LOT these days. MAYBE it has something to do with the fact that I DO want one already, but I know this is just not the right time. If God chooses to give me one now, I'll feel HAPPY, but still I want to focus on studying Finnish first before I get busy with my baby. I reckon that once the baby's there, I won't be able to focus on studying Finnish, right?

I've told my Mom about this and she's fine with this he he he he...HIP HIP HURRAY for my Mom!!!! She even encouraged me to save money and she said that she'd been praying to God to open doors for me to be able to get some income. Bless her!!! ;-D But anyway, it seems to me that she can't wait to have a grandchild from my brother HUA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...Ahem...;-D

OK, I have to go to the supermarket again 'coz I forgot to buy some spinachhhhhh. I'm gonna make lasagna and I want to make mine with spinach. Hubby doesn't like spinach so I'm gonna make two batches of lasagna he he he he...;-D


  1. now you know exactly how i feel when we didn't get pregnant after 3yrs marriage!! hahaha... over here even after just one month getting married, everybody's like: 'how's it going?' (w/ a certain look) or 'is it there yet??' (again w/ a certain look) UURRGH cape deh!! so enjoy living far away from those people hahaha

  2. Mey: Yes, I know how you felt and I'm GLAD I'm far away from those people he he he he he...iya sih, di Indo mah budayanya gitu, Mey, trus ntar udah anak pertama rada gedean aja pasti ditanyain lagi dah kapan mo punya anak kedua. UUUUHHHHH...why don't those people just mind their own business? It isn't like they're going to HELP with the money or help raising the kids!!! HE HE HE HE...

  3. There are always people who ask stupid awkward questions. I was single up till the age of 38 and I dreaded the "aren't you married YET?" type questions.

    There was this one woman I knew who always asked me terrible personal questions and I could never think what to reply. I wish I had good advice to give you to reply... but I don't.

    Can give you lots of sympathy though.

    Ps... I love spinach lasagne, but my hubby hates spinach too. :-D

  4. When i still single and don't have boy friend. People in my ex-office also talk negatif think about me ;) etc and etc. When i decided to quit from my job and move here, they still talk negatif about my hubby. They said, 'Ih, july will marry with old man'. That's what they think.

    And when i heard that gosip hehehe... I saw them my hubby's photo and said how old my hubby is hehehe...

    Just don't too long pospone about having child, Amel ;) Having child is make our life is totally different, that's right. But in a good way. Really ^_^;;

  5. M: Hey, your sympathy means A LOT to me, THANKS!!! ;-DI couldn't imagine how my Mom went through it all. She got married at 32 at the time when everybody else got married at 20. Tsk tsk tsk...

    I wonder why some people are just so insensitive. I KNOW they didn't mean bad, but still...

    Jul: What????? Your colleagues said that? Tsk tsk tsk...Your hubby's NOT old!!!

    Well, I THINK I'm planning on having one at the end of next year, but we'll see how it goes. It's not a definite plan yet, but I think by then I'll have saved enough money to feel safe having a baby he he he he he...

    It's not that I don't want to have a baby, Jul. I know that a baby brings SO MUCH joy and I AM longing already to taste what every mother knows already: the secret of pregnancy, giving birth, etc. but I don't want to rush it, either, IF I can still plan it. ;-D

  6. I understand this situation. I lived 3 years in holland when i was pregnant. I have first finished my dutch study about 1,5 years and then another 1,5 year i used it to search (parttime) job, to learn the culture and the language more better, although until now i don't speak 100% perfect Dutch. Just follow your heart, what you think it's good for you... just do it...

  7. Jeanne: THANKS for sharing your story and for your support. Yeah, I think I'll try to wait until the end of next year for "baby program". I hope by then my Finnish will be MUCH better than now he he he...

  8. Don't worry Amel. Getting pregnant and having a baby definitely will change your life. I got pregnant immediatly just a month after marriage, so me and my husband don't really have time together for long enough.. And now, even to go out for dinner we don't really have a chance for that. So enjoy your romance life with your hubby now.. :)

  9. For now, just enjoy your time and SAVING MONEY ho ho ho....

    I believe you can learn Finnish very fast because you are smart ;)

  10. Nyumix: THANKS, Put! I'm surely going to enjoy living with hubby only right now he he he...

    Jul: THANKS for your faith in me, Jul! Yeah, let's save money HE HE HE HE HE...And I sure hope I can learn Finnish fast he he...

  11. I read your reply to Mey and I couldn't agree more. Firstly, they'll ask, "when are you going to have a baby?" Secondly, they'll ask, "when are you going to have a 2ND baby?" And so on...Then, if you have many children, they'll still say something about family planning and so on...Phewww!! I totally understand your situation, Amel.

  12. Choc Mint Girl: I knew you'd understand, too. ;-D Yeah, tiring questions, eh? He he he he he...

  13. I can totally understand you!

    Even though my situation is a bit different (I'm French, immigrated to Canada), people bothered me a lot with their questions when I was in the immigration process. I mean, it's tough. It's not just "marry a local and get citizenship on a plate". Even though we were married, I still had to go through the whole process, because being married equal 0 for residence in Canada.

    Anyway, just wanted to say I understood. ;)

  14. Zhu: THANKS for sharing your story! The immigration process is always tough. Gladly my hubby and I wasn't interviewed at all, but we had to be separated for 4 months after our wedding and honeymoon 'coz I had to take care of so many things. And when I applied for a tourist visa, it was DECLINED even though officially I should've been able to apply for residence permit in Finland (coming to Finland with a tourist visa).

    But looking back, maybe it was for the best after all he he he...I'm just SO glad it was over with!!! But soon I have to renew my citizenship. It's not something I enjoy doing: having to fill in the forms and submit everything all over again...I just hope in 4 years I'll be able to master Finnish enough to pass their national test and then apply for citizenship he he he...

  15. Oh yeah, one more thing: THANKS for dropping by! ;-D Being understood is one of the GREATEST things on earth he he he...